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Guide Relationships: Ninety-Two Tried and True Ways to Damage or Fatally Destroy Your Relationship

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And, oftentimes, these life-changing moments will result in other major changes that many relationships struggle to survive. It's not necessarily how each partner spends money that causes problems in a marriage, it's how one partner thinks their significant other is spending that does. When Ashley LeBaron , a graduate student at Brigham Young University BYU , and her fellow researchers studied couples and spending habits in , they found that husbands who viewed their wives as big spenders had the greatest financial conflicts, regardless of actual spending habits.

Relationships are all about give and take—and if you take more than you give, then the balance will be thrown off and your partner will likely seek comfort in other places and people. In fact, this is such a well-known phenomenon that experts have even given it a name: It's called the Social Exchange Theory. According to Mark V.

Redmond of Iowa State University , the theory outlines how "we are disturbed when there is no equity in an exchange or where others are rewarded more for the same costs we incurred. When your significant other spends the entire day slaving away on a home-cooked meal, don't forget to thank them for all that hard work. Otherwise, your partner will feel like all their efforts have gone unnoticed, or that you feel like your time is more valuable than theirs.

When gratitude is not expressed , emotional, and sometimes physical, health is compromised. Insecure folks use their partners as a crutch in order to feel better about their many perceived shortcomings. And when the relationship is less than satisfactory, they see this as a slight against who they are as a person, which can lead to anger, frustration, and ultimately, the end of the relationship. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to reason with someone who pins their self-worth to the status of their relationship.

People Share The Most Ridiculous Reasons Why They Ended Their Relationships (Add Yours)

One of the most important parts of being in a relationship is loving your partner for who they are without trying to change them. People who secretly wish that their partner was just a little bit more fashionable or athletic will find that they love an unrealistic version of their partner and not the actual person with whom they're coupled.

It always helps to remember that love is unconditional—and if yours isn't, then it might not be love after all. You can pretend to settle an argument with your spouse just to make it go away, but that is only going to make things worse. After getting married, it takes work to maintain the spark that once existed in your relationship. If you don't work on keeping it alive, you risk falling into the same old routines.

New America

As soon as the initial newness of living together wears off, such everyday things cease to feel exciting and romantic, and you may find yourself feeling worried that your partner no longer cares as much or is as excited to be with you. Every person in a relationship just wants their voice to be heard—but in return, you need to give your partner that same respect and actually listen to what they're saying.

How Porn Destroys Marriage

If your partner thinks that you're ignoring them, they will feel like their opinions and emotions aren't important to you—and consequently, neither is the relationship. If you got married straight out of high school or college, you might start to reconsider your relationship later on.

Unfortunately, if you get hitched when you're under the age of 20, Wolfinger estimates that your divorce risk is 32 percent, based on age alone.


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Before you tie the knot, make sure you figure out finances, living arrangements, future career paths—anything that could potentially get in the way of your happiness and relationship down the line. If you fail to do so, your relationship might be doomed from the start. In a survey of more than 2, married and divorced people in Oklahoma, researchers found that "little or no helpful premarital preparation" was a top reason cited by divorcees for why their marriages didn't last. Starting a family is a big decision that shouldn't be rushed into—and if you do jump the gun on that choice, it could kill your marriage.

Sometimes relationships fall apart not because of incompatibility, but because of issues in the bedroom. In her list of some of the common reasons for divorce, U. All newlyweds should express some level of affection—but too much of any good thing can be a problem too. According to one study published in the journal Interpersonal Relationships and Group Processes , couples who displayed overly intense amounts of affection at the onset of the marriage were more likely to get divorced in the long-run compared to couples who were less overtly affectionate.


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    Mah Jong Quest. Subscribe Top Menu Current Issue. Archaeology U. History World History Video Newsletter. Like this article? Gibbons are incredible tree swingers, thanks to their long forearms, mobile joints and wrists that enhance fluid movement. Comment on this Story. Current Issue November Gold Fever! Just when you thought there was no way we could keep talking about it, last week we got an email asking about another aspect of guilt: survivor guilt. You ask and we answer, so today we are bringing you a post breaking down the ins and outs of survivor guilt.

    We promise this will be the last post on guilt okay, maybe not the last post on guilt forever, but at least for at least a month or two. Okay, so, survivor guilt.

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    This is a complicated topic, so I am going to give you a quick outline of where we are going with this post. First, what the heck is survivor guilt? On a basic level, survivor guilt is exactly what it sounds like: a sense of deep guilt that comes when one survives something. If you have heard of survivor guilt before what likely comes to mind is survivors of wars, natural disasters or other traumas. That said, one can experience survivor guilt independent of a PTSD diagnosis. Whether a person experiences survivor guilt, its duration and its intensity all vary from person to person.

    But the underlying feelings are similar: feeling guilty that you survived when someone else died and that you do not deserve to live when another person did not. In some cases, this includes feeling you could have done more to save another person, in other cases it is feeling guilty that another person died saving you a circumstance recently covered in the media after the Colorado movie theater shooting, where three men died protecting their girlfriends.

    After surviving war Surviving an accident Surviving natural disaster Surviving an act of violence. After surviving an illness that is fatal for others After a fellow drug-user dies of an overdose When a parent dies from complications of childbirth After receiving an organ transplant After causing an accident in which others died Guilt for not being present at the time of an accident to potentially save the person who died.

    When a child dies before a parent Death of a sibling, especially in the case of an illness. There are circumstances in which our action or lack of action did impact the death of another. In these cases, there is a rational source of the guilt. Instead, the person feels guilty about what they perceive they could or should have done.

    This kind of guilt often defies all logic. Some theorists have suggested that this may be because people would prefer to blame themselves for things outside their control than to accept that they are helpless.